Multiplication Tables Turning 35

Making sense out of nonsense,
why does 9 x 9 = 81, when I was only 8 x 1 back then?

How can 1x 35 equal much at all,
this prime non-factor life.

Will anything, anywhere, or anyone at all
matter that I have multiplied or divided by
if my final say is only about a broken heart, a true romance or
a bastardedly comedy.

As opposed to, a wide eyed wonder of a three year old, holding tight to my ear
with whispers and awe at what a big world mommy makes go round,
just for you. you. you.

So I'll head out alone again after another 28 day ovulation cycle wait....after being tabled a witlessly dry measure of hope.

Eyes filled with so much liquid mass I am welling and swelling an ocean in sight...tears brim and I laugh at my saltwater taffy mascara surprise.

I just needed it this time, this one. My little piece of gods great surprise.

living or life

sometimes I wonder
is life worth living
or is living worth life.

And still I want to be with you everywhere.

Bitches of Steel

Ladies, learn to use your pen
like a knife.

It will save you, engrave you, embossed of your families right.
Its measured swords weight a measure of those gravest to danger.
When, with just a glitter of its steely blue ballpoint,
at a last moments notice,
it provides a most astonishing deep wounding.

The scar from which takes them
oh so many years to heal.
Ladies learn to use your pen to harm, hurt, nuture, steal
starve, predict, merger and heal.

As is neccessary and further, make right or perjur
when all else cannot...make sure you can
still weld it to the kill.